ROME, ITALY – MARCH 15: Mike Brown of England celebrates after scoring the first try during the RBS Six Nations match between Italy and England at the Stadio Olimpico on March 15, 2014 in Rome, Italy. (Photo by Clive Rose/Getty Images)

This Rugby Themed Pizza Will Make You Blush

Morrison’s is a food chain in Great Britian. All they wanted to do was celebrate the great sport of rugby by selling a rugby themed pizza. Now look, we know that the rugby ball is more of an oblong shape with more rounded tips at the edges. But when Morrison’s arranged the pepperoni on the pizza, the tips were more pointed. Like a football.

But then with the darker cured meat on the inside, it looked less like a football, and more like something else …

Okay so look: When I was in seventh grade, our science teacher asked us what a female peacock was called. I decided that I was going to be a smart ass and repeat a line from a George Carlin comedy special (yes, I was allowed to watch HBO in my pre-teen years … it explains a lot, I know). I didn’t fully understand why it was funny, but I said it anyway. The boys in the class hailed me as a hero. The girls in the class hated me. The teacher gave me five stupidity stars on the wall, which I think is a record to this day. Then he struggled to hold back his laughter.

The point is this: Now I know better. I know well enough to say that any sophomoric joke I could make right now is going to be awful. And not worth your time. Because I’ve evolved. And I’m going to be mature about this. Let’s just say that this is an unfortunate incident and move on with our lives.

And enjoy eating your pizza. Because that’s what you’re eating. Pizza. Okay?

Photo of rugby player “getting ready to eat pizza” by Clive Rose/Getty Images

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We're here to track the delicious and bizarre at sporting events all over the country. It doesn't have to have bacon to be spectacular. But it helps.