Leave it to the Texas Rangers … the innovators of food items such as the “Choomongous” and the “Boomstick”, to celebrate their playoff berth with a whole new menu of food for the playoffs, to be served at Globe Life Park. And this postseason parcel isn’t any less spectacular.
Check out this lineup of the awesome and the bizarre …
The Inside Out Dog:
This is one pound of meat condensed in an 8 inch hot dog topped with Mac & Cheese and the meat of your choice, and the center of it is cut out, wrapped in bacon, and served as a side dish … A SIDE DISH!!! Meat wrapped in bacon is the whole meal in some ballparks. In Arlington, it’s the leftovers!
The Sweet Spot Cotton Candy Dog
So this is strange. They’re hot dogs drizzled in mustard. But not just ordinary mustard. It’s mustard that … for some reason, is infused with blue cotton candy, making it green. And they are topped with cotton candy. Processed meat topped with processed sugar. Your children will love it.
The Elvis Jabberdog and the Elvis Jabberdog Jr.
Not dead yet? This should finish you. A brownie rolled in Rice Krispies treats, dipped in funnel cake batter and fried. Not enough? Top it off with whipped cream or chocolate syrup. It comes 24 inches long or, if you have to watch your girlish figure, they have a 12 inch version just for you. I heard that this is so good, Satan himself will prepare this for you if you go to the right stand.
A One Pound Bag Of Cheetos Topped With Sloppy Food That You Need To Eat With A Fork
No really … eat this with a utensil. I had a version of this at a ballpark. I tried to be cool about it and eat it with my hands. I don’t need no fork. Orange Dorito dust covered my jeans in the same way that dirt covers Elvis Andrus’ pants after sliding into second. It was quite embarrassing and not worth the public spectacle I made of myself.
And if that’s not enough, well … Casey Rapp who is the general manager for Delaware North Sportservice at Globe Life Park says the following: “There may be more tricks up our sleeve as we continue to move into the postseason.” Yes, the “Create Your Own Delicious Death” booth will be open for the ALCS.
Photos by Jon Ziskal