ARLINGTON, TX – SEPTEMBER 28: Derek Holland #45 of the Texas Rangers throws in the sixth inning against the Oakland Athletics at Globe Life Park in Arlington on September 28, 2014 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Rick Yeatts/Getty Images)

Texas Brings The Bacon, And Derek Holland Brings The Heat

Don’t mess with Texas … Everything’s Bigger in Texas … yeah yeah yeah. Let’s get all the cliches out of the way right now. But when it comes to food at Globe Life Park in Arlington, cliches are the only thing left after your jaw drops and all coherent thought spills out.

The Rangers and Delaware North unveiled their new food lineup for 2015. And if you thought the Choo-mongous sandwich was insane, wait ’til you see what they have for your insides this season:

Some of the highlights include a double cheeseburger stacked between two grilled cheese sandwiches, deep fried s’mores, chicken fried bacon on a stick, bacon beer, and bacon cotton candy. (…)

“We throw a thousand ideas out there,” said Casey Rapp, operations manager for Delaware North, which provides all food services at Globe Life Park. “Most of them don’t stick, some of them are crazy, and some of them you can’t do. But some of them you can combine together and make something cool.” (…)

“When you come to the game, you want something unique,” said Rapp. “And I think that’s what we provide people.”

The grilled cheese hamburger is very reminiscent of what the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers and Kane County Cougars are doing this season. (Not that that’s a bad thing because to be honest, I’d have one of those things … or three.) Deep fried S’mores and Chicken Fried Bacon on a stick? Citi Field just combined the two. Now bacon beer and bacon cotton candy? Good heavens. That’s all children need is to have their processed sugar cut with bacon. (I say that, but at the same time I think … “where was this when I was young?”)

Also from the pictures you’ll see that they have Chicken Fried Corn on the Cob as well. The Rangers obviously want me purchasing a plane ticket to DFW.

My favorite might be the “Holland Hot Tot-chos” that they will debut this season. We know they’re Rangers pitcher Derek Holland’s favorite, because they’re his brain child:

The “Dutch Oven” got to debut his brand new “Holland Hot Tot-chos,” a foot-long plate of spicy tater tots topped with your choice of grilled chicken or steak and peppers. It’s served with a spicy queso hollandaise sauce that comes in a mini dutch oven.

“When you come to the ballpark, you gotta enjoy your food,” said Holland. “This is where it is.”

The Fort Worth Star Telegram provides video of Holland trying the concoction, which frankly, I don’t know how anybody can logistically negotiate that huge plate. But you’ll see for yourself that Holland eats it better than he pronounces it:

And no, he didn’t go on the disabled list with a burnt tongue.

(Derek Holland photo by Rick Yeatts/Getty Images)

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