Stump This Schwab!

Looking for a sandwich with everything on it? And I mean everything? The Fresno Grizzlies might have just what you’re looking for, as they are ready to debut a new hamburger called “The Schwab” for the 2015 season. What is in a Schwab? The better question might be: What isn’t in the Schwab?

The sandwich is a hamburger gone wild. Stacked between two sturdy Kaiser rolls is 1/3 of a pound hamburger, garlic chile aoli, lettuce, tomato, jalapeño jack cheese, fried pickles, a grilled hot dog, bacon, nacho cheese sauce and onion straws. It is like no other sandwich offered at Chukchansi Park. Each bite is like tasting a different meal, plus appetizer.

Executive Chef Jason Westerfield says the Schwab came about after talking with an employee of Grizzlies sponsor, Les Schwab Tire Center. The employee told Westerfield he once made a hamburger topped with a hot dog during a company barbecue.

“We liked that idea and decided to kick it up a notch,” Westerfield says. “But we kicked it up a bunch of notches.”

Hey I’m just glad the Schwab doesn’t include small pieces of tire for product placement. Although if the hot dog is cooked wrong, it could have that rubbery texture that will make you long for the open road … I guess.

Here’s the video of the burger defeating Joshua Tetee of the Fresno Bee:

I loved when one of the guys said in the video that he wanted to put a fried egg on it also, but “that would have been way too messy”. Really. That was the tipping point. A fried egg. Because without a fried egg it’s a one napkin meal to be nibbled on by the dainty during high tea and box socials in one sitting. Oh sure.

The burger will cost you $16 and probably your sense of self worth … because you mere mortals cannot win against this creation of evil geniuses intent on taking over the world. Good luck, Fresno. This might be less a meal and more a threat to your city that you’ll have to bring in the National Guard to contain.

(Photo of monster burger by Fresno Bee)

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