ARLINGTON, TX – JANUARY 12: Quarterback Marcus Mariota #8 of the Oregon Ducks throws the ball against the Ohio State Buckeyes during the College Football Playoff National Championship Game at AT&T Stadium on January 12, 2015 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Marcus Mariota Made Of Food Will Scare You To Death

Marcus Mariota is ready to take the NFL by storm. He’s about to be a top draft pick … perhaps Top 2 … and he’s got top shelf endorsements lined up. To please his corporate sponsors, he has to take part in certain promotional activities. One of those activities he took part in was for the Subway food chain a few days ago, which honored him in a way that only Subway can: with a food statue.

I realize there’s only so much you could to with lettuce, tomatoes, and ham. But did they run out of cheese for his front teeth? At least the statue is very healthy for you to eat … if you care to slice off Mariota’s nose and chow down. As if you didn’t guarantee enough nightmares, imagine taking a hatchet to his head so you can eat fresh. With Jared in the background laughing maniacally. I’m not so sure this thing hasn’t given Mariota nightmares already.

That food statue looks familiar:

Mariota SubwayMedusa

Hmmmm. Maybe. Medusa doesn’t have enough tomatoes. And she looks like she wants to take over all mankind while Subway Marcus just looks scared to death. And that’s how you know a statue is scary looking … the statue is scared of itself. But good use of those unidentified vegetables on his head to simulate the snakes.

Or maybe …

Mariota SubwayKiel

Wow. That might be more on the nose.

Darren Rovell

(Marcus Mariota photo where he’s not made of food by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

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We're here to track the delicious and bizarre at sporting events all over the country. It doesn't have to have bacon to be spectacular. But it helps.

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