Indians manager Terry Francona understands that if you’re going to indulge in a food item, best to make it something that isn’t going to kill you right away. Frozen water is a healthier obsession than most, so it’s good to go with that. The frozen water in question comes in the form of popsicles, and Francona loves these suckers. How much? We’ll let Terry explain:
“I had 17 the other night. No, that’s not a lie. They’re healthy, so if one’s good, 17’s gotta be real good. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was like borderline, like it was coming up. But I was so tired that I just laid there for about an hour and I was like, ‘Don’t throw up, don’t throw up, don’t throw up.’ I I should have got up and threw up. And then I woke up in the morning and I was like, ‘****’. So I started counting the sticks. They’re so good. Obviously I don’t get tired of them. They’re so ******** good.”
“Because Brandon took over nine boxes and there’s six in each box. There’s one box left. So I don’t know what I’m going to do tonight. They’re good, man. And they have them on the plane, too. When the lady comes by with a basket I just grab the basket like, ‘I’ll handle this.'”
So what did we learn? Well, we learned that if one of anything is good, 17 of that same item isn’t necessarily good if they make you want to throw up in the middle of the night. Even if that item is Nestle’s Outshine Fruit Bars. Also, if you feel the need to urinate during the game, and it causes you to miss an ejection of one of your players, then maybe 17 servings of frozen water is too much for you.
It might be safer for Terry to find a new obsession. Or just go back to pounding gum …
Photo of the man some call “Tito” by Jason Miller/Getty Images